Real Life - A Weekly Blog Devotional

From God’s Word:

Click and Read Hebrews 10:19-25

Key Verse:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

Church was an almost unbearable place to be after my miscarriages. Each week I would think to myself, “OK, I’m fine today,” but the desire to leave would hit immediately as I entered the building.

I tried week after week to “be strong this time” and would make myself sit down in the sanctuary. As worship began, the music stirred emotions, leaving me vulnerable, and the tears would inevitably start falling. I knew, “I have to get out of here or I’m going to start bawling,” but I realized walking out would allow everyone to see I had been crying. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to keep from sobbing and causing a scene. I was trapped. Choosing to leave the sanctuary, I wandered around until the service ended trying to get myself under control and presentable before anyone could see me.

Picking up my daughters from their classes, I would run into well meaning people who were unaware of the situation. They would look at me with a quizzical look and innocently ask, “Now when are you due again?” It was awful explaining everything, watching these sweet people become mortified because they had hurt me by asking.

This struggle continued for months. It was just too painful and embarrassing to be there, and there were constant reminders of what I lost. Churches are full of pregnant women and babies. One service ended for me when I opened the bulletin and read the advertisement for the upcoming Father/Son campout.

Knowing I needed to be there, by God’s strength I continued to show up to services and Bible studies week after week. I was constantly embarrassed by my weakness. Telling myself, “I’m not going to cry this time,” didn’t work. I always ended up in tears. I hated being so publicly emotional, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

There is no verse in the Bible that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Most Americans believe it is in there somewhere because it is a cultural tradition, yet the truth is God helps those who run to Him in weakness, and rely upon His grace.

He also places us in a spiritual family so we can be helped by each other. Our key verse says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

As difficult as it was to control my emotions when I was at church, had I been able to stop the flow of emotion or hidden my pain, I would have robbed other believers of an opportunity to use their gifts to minister to me.

I was amazed how many times God lined up specific people to minister to me during those times I struggled to be at church. When I left the sanctuary, some woman who had also miscarried in the past would “magically” appear to pray with me. When I felt alone and emotional, someone would hug me. When I needed a word from the Lord, someone would read scripture that spoke directly to my heart. When I was in Bible Study, people said things they didn’t know where meant for me. I experienced the work of the Spirit through the love, prayers, hugs, words of prophecy and wisdom that came from the flesh and blood people in my church family. We have a large church, but it became small as people poured out love on me.

Some of the best comfort came from women who had been there. They could minister in a way no one else could. After she read 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, my friend Jeanine began praying she would have an opportunity to comfort someone else in the way she had been comforted when she miscarried. If I had run away from church and fellowship, then I would have not been a part of that prayer being answered.

It feels good to be used by the Lord. When we are weak, we allow others the privilege of being used by the Lord in our circumstance. Pastor Bob tells us often that when Christians go off on their own they “get weird.” We need each other. As we draw near to God, He often sends us to our spiritual family for some love and comfort. Don’t run away.

Excerpt from And Then You Were Gone: Restoring the Broken Heart after Pregnancy Loss. All rights reserved. Do not copy or use without author’s permission.

Personal Application:
Do you ever find yourself embarrassed over your emotion or weakness at church or around other Christians?

Remember that by allowing yourself to be weak, you allow others the joy of using their God-given gifts in response to your circumstances.

Dear Lord, Prevent me from running from fellow believers when I’m feeling weak or am hurting. Thank you for providing a spiritual family to comfort me and for giving them gifts to help me in my time of need. Thank you for the joy we all feel when we get to use our gifts to bring comfort to other people. In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen

More of God’s Word:

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. - Romans 12:4-8 (NIV)

I’ve been a busy traveling girl this summer. Thank you for being patient while you waited for a new post.

One of the trips I took was to Charlotte, North Carolina where I attended a conference for speakers, writers, and ministry leaders. I won a scholarship to go and have been looking forward to the trip all year. I saw it as a gift from the Lord and an opportunity to share with editors a book I wrote on healing after pregnancy loss.

Four days before I left for the conference, I was at my Mom and Dad’s house in Washington State and tried to do a few finishing touches on my book proposal. As I researched for the “competition” section on my proposal, I made a startling discovery.

The two editors I had made appointments to meet with, the two I’d prayed over so much, represented publishing companies that had just released their very own books on the topic of- you guessed it- miscarriage.

At that moment, I knew I would be wasting their time pitching competition for books they had just published on the same subject.

There I was:

- 10 hours away from home
- Four days away from the conference
- Totally and completely prepared to pitch a book I now knew they would not want.

I did what any girl would do.

I cried.

A lot.

All day Sunday I mourned. Waiting for the conference to arrive, I carried the weight of being a scholarship winner. I knew there were so many women who wanted the gift I was given, and I was determined not to waste it. So, I was so ready. I had handouts, sample chapters, a beautiful proposal, and then- nothing.

Crying it out on Sunday, I learned some hard lessons. I had wrapped up so much hope in getting that book published because I was counting on the book bringing meaning to our loss. God had to show me that the beauty He was and will continue to bring out of our hurt had nothing to do with me or my book, it had everything to do with Him.

He also showed me I was relying on myself. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be prepared. I didn’t leave any room for miracles, so He took away the crutches I was leaning on.

That night I made a crazy decision. I have a novel I’ve been working on, and I decided right then I was supposed to pitch that book instead. It wasn’t ready though. I only had four rough chapters written and a vague idea of were I was going with the story. I didn’t sleep for the next three days, worked all the way home in the car, spent hours on the telephone with my amazing dad editing what I did have, and then left Thursday morning far less prepared then I would have ever wanted.

While we were in the air, my friend, Rochelle, handed me the devotion book she was reading. I read that day’s devotion, overwhelmed and grateful that it was a message just for me. Here’s an excerpt:

Streams in the Dessert

July 31 With skillful hands he led them - Psalm 78:72

When you are unsure which course to take, totally submit your own judgement to that of the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door except the right one. But meanwhile keep moving ahead and consider the absence of a direct indication from God to be the evidence of His will that your are on His path. And as you continue down the long road, you will find that He has gone before you, locking doors you otherwise would have been inclined to enter. Yet you can be sure that somewhere beyond the locked doors in one He has left unlocked. - F.B. Meyer

I knew God wrote that devotion just for me because I live that scenario everyday.

My baby boy is one week shy of turning one, and he still has not figured out how to crawl right.

(And he doesn’t listen to his mommy either when I tell him he’ll never be able to read because of it!)

But man can he scoot! He’s fast!

His sisters keep forgetting to close doors behind them, so when he sees an opportunity, he looks me in the eye as if to say, The race is on Mommy!

He scoots as fast as he can, trying to beat me to the bathroom door before I can close it in his face.

It dawned on me. How often do I do that with the Lord? How often do I try to race Him to a door before He closes it?

As a loving parent would, God closes doors I might be inclined to walk through and shouldn’t, but one day He’s going to leave one open for me. It will be the “JUST RIGHT FOR BECKY” door and instead of just leaving it open for me, He’ll come and lead me by the hand so we can walk through it together.

Personal Application:

Do you have hopes and dreams you worry will never happen?
Are you in a hurry for God to DO something, anything?
Are you racing God for open doors because you are worried He will close them before you can walk through them?

Take some time this week to lay those dreams at His feet and then wait on Him to not only leave a door open for you, but to take you by the hand and walk you through it with Him.

In my case, stripping away my security opened up doors for miracles that happened all weekend long. I had chances to pitch BOTH books, and I knew it was all God’s doing, not my own.

Trust Him to lead you in the pursuit of your precious dreams. He is worthy of that trust.

Love,

From the Word:

Click and Read Colossians 3

Key Verses:
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

Hi, my name is Becky, and I’m an approval junkie.

Words of praise, acknowledgement for a job well done, and positive feedback are gold to me. When I was in elementary school, I loved getting assignments back with a “Scratch ‘n Sniff” sticker and words like “Way to Go” or “Fantastic” written across the top in red ink.

As an adult, I often long for that same kind of encouragement. When I get done scrubbing a toilet, no one hands me an “Excellent Work” certificate. Most of the time, no one even notices a clean toilet. The other day, I actually dragged my poor husband into the bathroom to show off my handiwork. I had used a new steam cleaner, and I wanted him to see how shiny it all was. Trying to be enthusiastic, the best he could come up with was, “It smells nice and disinfected!” Not exactly the glowing praise I was after. : )

Recently, God gave me some ministry assignments. I struggled with them at first because I wasn’t getting feedback. There wasn’t anyone telling me if I was doing things “right” or “well.” I wasn’t even sure if He was using the work at all or if anyone was even aware of the work I was doing. And when I reached out and took the risk of looking for affirmation from people, it was all falling flat. I started to doubt God had called me at all. My natural self wanted to quit. I felt apathetic about the work because I figured no one was paying attention anyway. It became drudgery to do the work.

It took time to figure it out, but my attitude is slowing changing. I’m learning I am doing it for an “audience of One.” There is only One person to please, only One who needs to see. And whatever I do, in word or deed, it should be done with excellence, because it is done for Him!

Personal Application:

We can forget that as followers of Christ, our WHOLE lives need to be lived for Him. There should be no separation of religious and secular aspects of life. Everything needs to be done as an act of worship.

Take a look at your attitude about the work you do. Are you doing it with excellence? Are you finding joy in doing it for Him? Talk to Him about it this week. Ask Him to breathe new life into the way you look at your responsibilities. Ask Him to show you how to make them your own acts of worship and gifts to Him.

Do you crave affirmation and approval? Do you find it hard to do work where there will be no affirmation or encouragement? Ask Him to help you crave His approval and to get the encouragement you need from Him. He has already accepted you and loves you. Your worth is not determined by your boss’ opinion of you nor by that important person you hope to impress.

Father,
Help me to desire your approval above the approval of anyone else. Give me the desire to work hard for you. Make my everyday activities acts of worship to you. Be glorified through me and forgive me for the times when I want the glory for myself. Where I have experienced discouragement, I pray you will build me back up and renew me. Help me to see that my worth is in belonging to you, not in the opinions of other people. Thank you for loving me and accepting me. Thank you for giving me a unique purpose and gifts that I can use for you and your Kingdom.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen

More of God’s Word:
1. On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NIV)

2. Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

3. The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ - Matthew 25:40 (NIV)

From the Word:

Click and Read Exodus 17:8-16

Key Verses:

As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle. Exodus 17:11-13 (NLT)

The garage door goes up. My minivan drives in. The garage door goes down.

I don’t interact much with my immediate neighbors. We all drive in to our garages and disappear into our homes. We occasionally knock on each other’s doors to hand the mail that was delivered to the wrong box, but that’s about it.

I’m sure my neighborhood isn’t unique. Today, face to face interaction is becoming old fashioned. We read each other’s blogs and catch up on Facebook or Twitter. We “talk” to each other through text messages. It’s convicting that I know more about the contestants on Biggest Loser than I know about the young family that lives across the street from me.

We are an affluent society. We are technologically advanced. We are lonely.

God did not design us to be isolated and alone. He designed us to need Him and need each other. We are made for communion with God and fellowship with one another. But reaching out to people, developing and maintaining relationships and friendships, requires commitment, risk taking, time, confidence, and work. There are so many things that can get in the way. Being alone can be the easiest and most comfortable, if not satisfying, choice to make.

I am so blessed to be able to say I have amazing girl friends, and as a family we have wonderful friends that enrich our lives, but my husband and I will be the first to admit we have the tendency to be lazy friends in return. Often, we allow busyness, distractions, time, distance, etc. keep us from prioritizing those relationships and doing what is necessary to maintain those friendships. It is easy to take those friendships for granted. That is until life throws you a curve ball and those amazing friends are there to hold you up, like Aaron and Hur held Moses up.

Life is hard. Ministry can be exhausting. We NEED support. Real life, face to face friendships must be a priority in our lives. Those friendships need to be prioritized, maintained, and nurtured long before you need them in crisis. Trying to serve God as a lone ranger doesn’t work. Moses needed help. We need help. Pastor Bob says that when Christians go off on their own they “get weird.” It’s humorous, but true. We can’t be all that God called us to be when we are alone.

Personal Application:
Spend time in prayer thanking God for the people in your life. Ask him to reveal to you ways that you can enrich the relationships you have and to find friendships where they are lacking in your life. Pray that he will reveal ways that you need to step out of your comfort zone in order to maintain or develop fellowship in your life.

There are many enemies to fellowship. Here are a few:

- apathy
- insecurity
- gossip
- jealousy
- fear
- busyness
- computer and technology taking away from real life friendships/relationships
- unreasonable expectations
- pettiness
- lack of forgiveness
- self-centerdness
- not making it a priority

Take an honest inventory of your life this week and look for ways to make people a priority. Ask for God’s wisdom and provision.

One of the very best ways to get fellowship is to attend a women’s Bible study. Here’s a link to the current Bible studies that Calvary offers for women. They are all wonderful. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and get plugged in with other women who can support you, help you know more about the Bible, and can point your heart to Jesus. It may take several weeks before you feel at home, but it will be worth the effort and will feel more and more comfortable the longer you go.

If female friendship has been a source of pain in the past, ask God for healing and trust him to help you trust again.

More of God’s Word:
1. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! … Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:10- 11 (NIV)

2. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
-John 13:34-35 (NIV)

Love,

My mom read the book Tales of the Kingdom as a bedtime story to my brother and me when I was young, and it quickly became a family favorite. Staring at the pictures, I often wished I could be in the story myself. I’ve read it over again several times as an adult, getting something new out of it every time. (Sorry Mom, you can’t have it back)

Written as a fairy tale, each chapter expresses a different Biblical truth and ends with a moral for the story. One of my favorite chapters is called “The Apprentice Juggler.”

The Apprentice Juggler wants nothing more than to join the troupe and perform on a regular basis at the Great Celebration. Unfortunately, he has a terrible secret he is afraid the Juggling Master will find out about. His inner count is different than the other jugglers, and he is terrified he will mess up the next performance. Doing everything in his power to hide the fact his rhythm is off, he works hard to suppress the count he hears inside of his head.

Eventually, he cannot suppress it any longer and during the performance he lets himself follow his own rhythm. He ends up delighting the audience as a clown and learns a clown is “the best juggler of all.” It is a rare talent to be both a juggler and a clown and the Juggling Master is thrilled.

When asked why he never revealed his different rhythm, he answers, “I-I thought I would lose my place in the troupe.” To which the Juggling Master replies, “Lose your place? Find your proper place, rather. Didn’t you know that in the Great Celebration, all who desire a place, find a place?”

Have you ever felt like the Apprentice Juggler; afraid you have nothing to offer in the Kingdom of God because you aren’t like the other people you see serving? I have. And I was convinced I didn’t measure up. I was also convinced serving meant doing something I didn’t like to do.

But here I am, writing a blog, something I love to do and happens to be a hobby of mine. God gave me the opportunity to do something I love for Him.

Do you march to the beat of a different drum? Great! No one has the unique talents God has instilled in you. No one can tell your story. God has created so much diversity and we do not need cookie-cutter Christians in the Body of Christ. Listen to your own inner rhythm and offer it up to God. He wrote your rhythm, and He will use it!

Personal Application:

Make a list of your dreams, passions, talents, gifts, etc. and talk to God about them during your prayer time this week. Trust Him with those things. Praise God for your uniqueness. Ask Him to use you for His Kingdom.

Do you feel unqualified? I’ve heard this quote said two different ways, and I love it both ways:

God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips those He calls.

AND

God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies those He calls.

More of God’s Word:

1. Read 1 Corinthians 12

2. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. - Colossians 3:17

Lord,

Thank you for making me, me. Help me to stop comparing myself to others and to enjoy the way you made me. Help me to trust You with my unique gifts, talents, passions, and dreams. Show me how they can be used for You. May I glorify You with my life.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen