From the Word:
Click and read Genesis 16

Key Verse:
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?”
-Genesis 16:13 (NLT)

(Note: Taking matters into our own hands is a topic I’ll have to tackle in another devotion. Bad Idea! Ha ha)

What stuck with me after the reading was how hard life was for Hagar. She must have felt so alone, and of so little value. She was property, to be given to an old man for sex without her consent. How insignificant she must have felt!

This is an overused analogy, but it always amazes me when I’m in an airplane and look down at the ground. People become smaller and smaller and more and more insignificant the higher the airplane goes. Looking out that airplane window, I can relate to the feelings of the agnostic. Why would God care about me, someone so small in the sea of humanity?

In today’s reading, Hagar says, “You are the God who sees me!” Isn’t that an amazing thing to consider? The God who is big enough to create the universe, and small enough that His fingerprints are seen in the tiniest of cells, saw Hagar, an insignificant servant girl with a rough life. He also sees you and me.

What a comfort to be KNOWN and SEEN. I join Hagar at being amazed by this truth.

Personal Application:
Do a study on the names of God. You can do a Google search or check out one of the many book on that subject. His names give insight into His character. Worship Him for who He is! Thank Him that in the midst of your everyday life, in the midst of the joys and sorrows, you are seen by the One who loves you. Trust him today and rest in knowing that you are not alone.

More of God’s Word

1. You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day. -Psalm 139:15-16 (The Message)

2. Who is like the LORD our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth? -Psalm 113:5-6 (NIV)

3. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. - Matthew 10:30 (NIV)

Click and Read Matthew 6:19-21

Key Verse:

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. -Matthew 6:20 (NIV)

Without Googling his name, can you tell me who Millard Fillmore is?

A few history buffs will be able to tell me, but most of us won’t have a clue.

Millard Fillmore was the 13th President of the United States of America. You would think we would know the name of someone who held such a prestigious office, right? If I don’t even know the name of someone who was president, who will ever remember me when I’m gone? Does this life even matter?

It is a sad fact that most of us will be completely forgotten within two, maybe three, generations after we pass away. Here today, gone tomorrow. No matter how much we gain or accomplish, no matter how noble the causes we fight for, no matter how powerful the positions we hold, our lives truly are just a vapor.

Solomon saw it. When he looked at the works of mankind, he said, “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 1:14 NIV).

This has been a reoccurring theme for me this week. I’ve been reminded so much in sermons and my own study time, that time is short. So what am I doing with it? With the time I have been given, is it possible to do something meaningful? Can I devote myself to something more than chasing after wind?

I’ve been looking at my life and doing some self-inventory. I don’t have the answers yet, but I’ve been going through my day today asking:

• What in my life has eternal value?
• In what ways am I investing in eternity?
• What activities am I wasting my time on?

It’s been good just to ask the questions. If this is all there is, then life is utterly meaningless. I should just go have fun, eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow I die. But since this is not all there is, I want to build a life that is meaningful and purposeful.

Our pastor taught us this weekend that the key to a purposeful life is doing life as if you are doing it unto God. Whatever you do, do it unto Him. I’m not famous or powerful. I am a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a homemaker. Not very exciting!

Cleaning my toilets, changing the diapers, serving my family, all of these appear meaningless, but they have the potential of being more eternally significant than being President of the United States if done with the right heart. If I do my life, the things I’ve been called to do, and do them as if I was doing them for God and for His glory, that work will last. And it will bring me joy.

Personal Application:

Do your own self-inventory this week:

• Can you identify ways you are chasing after wind and wasting time?
• How are you investing in eternity?
• If you were to die tonight, is your life in order? What would you be able to take with you?
• Are you ignoring eternity or building up treasure there?
• How can you do your own life as if unto God? What meaningless activities can become eternally significant just by changing your heart and attitude about them?

Dear Lord,

Thank you that this life is not it. Give me an eternal perspective and help me to build my life in a way that will have eternal significance. Help me to set aside the things that are worthless and to strive for the things you value. Show me how to do my everyday life for you.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,

Amen

More of God’s Word:

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. - Colossians 3:1-2 (The Message)

Key Verse:
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching. -Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

Church was an almost unbearable place to be after my miscarriages. Each week I would think to myself, “OK, I’m fine today,” but the desire to leave would hit immediately as I entered the building.

I tried week after week to “be strong this time” and would make myself sit down in the sanctuary. As worship began, the music stirred emotions, leaving me vulnerable, and the tears would inevitably start falling. I knew, “I have to get out of here or I’m going to start bawling,” but I realized walking out would allow everyone to see I had been crying. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to keep from sobbing and causing a scene. I was trapped. Choosing to leave the sanctuary, I wandered around until the service ended trying to get myself under control and presentable before anyone could see me.

Picking up my daughters from their classes, I would run into well meaning people who were unaware of the situation. They would look at me with a quizzical look and innocently ask, “Now when are you due again?” It was awful explaining everything, watching these sweet people become mortified because they had hurt me by asking.

This struggle continued for months. It was just too painful and embarrassing to be there, and there were constant reminders of what I lost. Churches are full of pregnant women and babies. One service ended for me when I opened the bulletin and read the advertisement for the upcoming Father/Son campout.

Knowing I needed to be there, by God’s strength I continued to show up to services and Bible studies week after week. I was constantly embarrassed by my weakness. Telling myself, “I’m not going to cry this time,” didn’t work. I always ended up in tears. I hated being so publicly emotional, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

There is no verse in the Bible that says, “God helps those who help themselves.” Most Americans believe it is in there somewhere because it is a cultural tradition, yet the truth is God helps those who run to Him in weakness, and rely upon His grace.

He also places us in a spiritual family so we can be helped by each other. Our key verse says, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

As difficult as it was to control my emotions when I was at church, had I been able to stop the flow of emotion or hidden my pain, I would have robbed other believers of an opportunity to use their gifts to minister to me.

I was amazed how many times God lined up specific people to minister to me during those times I struggled to be at church. When I left the sanctuary, some woman who had also miscarried in the past would “magically” appear to pray with me. When I felt alone and emotional, someone would hug me. When I needed a word from the Lord, someone would read scripture that spoke directly to my heart. When I was in Bible Study, people said things they didn’t know where meant for me. I experienced the work of the Spirit through the love, prayers, hugs, words of prophecy and wisdom that came from the flesh and blood people in my church family. We have a large church, but it became small as people poured out love on me.

Some of the best comfort came from women who had been there. They could minister in a way no one else could. After she read 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, my friend Jeanine began praying she would have an opportunity to comfort someone else in the way she had been comforted when she miscarried. If I had run away from church and fellowship, then I would have not been a part of that prayer being answered.

It feels good to be used by the Lord. When we are weak, we allow others the privilege of being used by the Lord in our circumstance. Pastor Bob tells us often that when Christians go off on their own they “get weird.” We need each other. As we draw near to God, He often sends us to our spiritual family for some love and comfort. Don’t run away.

Excerpt from And Then You Were Gone: Restoring the Broken Heart after Pregnancy Loss. All rights reserved. Do not copy or use without author’s permission.

Personal Application:
Do you ever find yourself embarrassed over your emotion or weakness at church or around other Christians?

Remember that by allowing yourself to be weak, you allow others the joy of using their God-given gifts in response to your circumstances.

Dear Lord, Prevent me from running from fellow believers when I’m feeling weak or am hurting. Thank you for providing a spiritual family to comfort me and for giving them gifts to help me in my time of need. Thank you for the joy we all feel when we get to use our gifts to bring comfort to other people. In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen

More of God’s Word:

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. - Romans 12:4-8 (NIV)

Key Verse:

“Now then,” said Joshua, “throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the LORD, the God of Israel.” Joshua 24:23 (NIV)

“Jesus, what in my life do I love more than You?”

I attended a conference this summer where author Lysa TerKeurst was the opening speaker. She told the story about asking Jesus that question and the impact His answer had on her life. He extended to her an invitation for what she titled a “personal revival” He pointed out a sugar addiction that took a lot of sacrifice and self-discipline to give up. She didn’t do it out of a heart of legalism, but out of love for Jesus, not wanting anything to have higher priority than Him.

Listening to her story, I initially responded with Love, more than Jesus? Why nothing, of course. He’s number One.

To which a still, small, whispering voice asked me, Am I, Becky?

Of course you are, Lord!

What about your Internet? If I asked would you turn off your Internet?

Oh, no, Lord, I couldn’t do that. I use my Internet to serve You. The time I spend on their is for good and useful things. I need it for writing my books, connecting with family and friends, and building my ministry platform. It’s not an idol. I don’t love it more than you.

Deep inside, I knew it wasn’t true. My laptop sits on my breakfast bar in the kitchen. It is accessible to me all day long. I catch every email, every blog comment, every Facebook status, and make sure the world knows what I’m doing with a play-by-play on Twitter.

Whenever my kids interrupted me this summer, I was so frustrated! I don’t know how many times I said, “You need to play upstairs or outside and quit interrupting me. I’m doing important work on my computer right now.” I was aware that my home was messier than I like it, that my kids were often talking to me through a computer screen, and that my time with the Lord was often used up by Internet activities.

I was right. I do good things on the Internet. But I was also wrong. It had become an idol in my life. I loved the endless wealth of information, the connection with like minded people, and the fun of creating blog posts on my personal blog. It was stealing my time, my focus, and distracting my heart. Earlier this week, I finally faced the truth and I felt so busted. I cried and continued to justify and defend my actions, but I finally had to confess the truth and repent of what that cyber connection had become in my life.

I carried the laptop upstairs, shut it down, and made a new guideline for myself. Computer time is reserved to times when my family doesn’t need me. My children will no longer speak to me through a laptop screen and Jesus will resume His proper position of supremacy in my life.

Last week I wrote about how God usually goes for a heart condition problem instead of a behavior problem. In this case, He did highlight a behavior, but it was because it was a symptom of a heart issue. I’m not saying Internet is bad. It was me loving it more than Jesus that was bad.

Personal Application:

You may not be able to relate to Lysa’s problem with sugar, or my problem with spending too much time in cyberspace, but I have a hunch there may be something else you could say has become an idol in your own life.

Join us in asking this question: Jesus, what in my life do I love more than you?
When He reveals the answer, ask Him for the strength to put Him number one again. Life works when He is on the throne. Messes occur when we run after worthless idols.

Do not become so focused on the behavior, that you glorify yourself as you remove it from your life. Remember, this is about getting your heart to the place where He is number one. It is not about you at all.

Dear Lord, Please reveal to me anything that has become an idol in my life. Give me the character to acknowledge it and the strength to remove it so you are first in my heart. Only You are worthy of that position. I am weak and need Your help. Make my heart and my priorities right before You. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen

More of God’s Word:

1. “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.” - Exodus 20:2-3 (ESV)

2. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ -Mark 12:30 (NIV)

Love a less connected
: )

Key Verse:

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. - 1 John 4:16a (NIV)

I was afraid to ask.

In my personal Bible study I came across this prayer of King David’s:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 NIV))

I wanted to pray it myself. I wanted God to search my heart and let me know if there was “any offensive way in me” so I could fix it, but I was afraid of what the answer might be.

I’ve always been a pleaser, an achiever, and never one who took criticism well. But after four consecutive pregnancy losses, I was broken and ready to know why God was punishing me, why He had stopped loving me, and why He had abandoned me.

So, I steeled myself and waited for His answer. I waited for the list of all of my offenses to come, motivated to get to work on them. I was ready to make things right between us.

His answer shocked and humbled me. He spoke to my heart and told me this, “Becky, do you want to know what is in your heart that offends me the most? That thing that hurts me to the core? It is that you have doubted my love for you. This is where I want you to start. Start by KNOWING I love you. Be assured of that fact and stop questioning my love for you. This will be the foundation I want to grow you from. The foundation of absolute assurance of my love for you.”

I had waited once again for a laundry list of to-dos. Once again He went straight for my heart. Life would never make sense without that assurance. I would never have anything to offer this world without that assurance. Without complete confidence in God’s love for me, I would be stuck. It truly was the place to start.

Personal Application:

Are you confident of God’s love for you? Do you doubt it? Confess your doubt and ask Him to fill you with a fresh assurance of His love for you. Ask Him to help you “know’ and “rely” on that love.

Father,

Thank You that You are love. It is Your very nature. Before I can share Your love with this hurting world, I need to be absolutely assured of Your love for me. Forgive me for doubting Your love for me. I know Jesus paid the ultimate price to demonstrate that love for us all. I will trust in Your unfailing love.

In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen

More of God’s Word:

1. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

One of the trips I took was to Charlotte, North Carolina where I attended a conference for speakers, writers, and ministry leaders. I won a scholarship to go and have been looking forward to the trip all year. I saw it as a gift from the Lord and an opportunity to share with editors a book I wrote on healing after pregnancy loss.

Four days before I left for the conference, I was at my Mom and Dad’s house in Washington State and tried to do a few finishing touches on my book proposal. As I researched for the “competition” section on my proposal, I made a startling discovery.

The two editors I had made appointments to meet with, the two I’d prayed over so much, represented publishing companies that had just released their very own books on the topic of- you guessed it- miscarriage.

At that moment, I knew I would be wasting their time pitching competition for books they had just published on the same subject.

There I was:

- 10 hours away from home
- Four days away from the conference
- Totally and completely prepared to pitch a book I now knew they would not want.

I did what any girl would do.

I cried.

A lot.

All day Sunday I mourned. Waiting for the conference to arrive, I carried the weight of being a scholarship winner. I knew there were so many women who wanted the gift I was given, and I was determined not to waste it. So, I was so ready. I had handouts, sample chapters, a beautiful proposal, and then- nothing.

Crying it out on Sunday, I learned some hard lessons. I had wrapped up so much hope in getting that book published because I was counting on the book bringing meaning to our loss. God had to show me that the beauty He was and will continue to bring out of our hurt had nothing to do with me or my book, it had everything to do with Him.

He also showed me I was relying on myself. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be prepared. I didn’t leave any room for miracles, so He took away the crutches I was leaning on.

That night I made a crazy decision. I have a novel I’ve been working on, and I decided right then I was supposed to pitch that book instead. It wasn’t ready though. I only had four rough chapters written and a vague idea of were I was going with the story. I didn’t sleep for the next three days, worked all the way home in the car, spent hours on the telephone with my amazing dad editing what I did have, and then left Thursday morning far less prepared then I would have ever wanted.

While we were in the air, my friend, Rochelle, handed me the devotion book she was reading. I read that day’s devotion, overwhelmed and grateful that it was a message just for me. Here’s an excerpt:

Streams in the Dessert

July 31 With skillful hands he led them - Psalm 78:72

When you are unsure which course to take, totally submit your own judgement to that of the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door except the right one. But meanwhile keep moving ahead and consider the absence of a direct indication from God to be the evidence of His will that your are on His path. And as you continue down the long road, you will find that He has gone before you, locking doors you otherwise would have been inclined to enter. Yet you can be sure that somewhere beyond the locked doors in one He has left unlocked. - F.B. Meyer

I knew God wrote that devotion just for me because I live that scenario everyday.

My baby boy is one week shy of turning one, and he still has not figured out how to crawl right.

(And he doesn’t listen to his mommy either when I tell him he’ll never be able to read because of it!)

But man can he scoot! He’s fast!

His sisters keep forgetting to close doors behind them, so when he sees an opportunity, he looks me in the eye as if to say, The race is on Mommy!

He scoots as fast as he can, trying to beat me to the bathroom door before I can close it in his face.

It dawned on me. How often do I do that with the Lord? How often do I try to race Him to a door before He closes it?

As a loving parent would, God closes doors I might be inclined to walk through and shouldn’t, but one day He’s going to leave one open for me. It will be the “JUST RIGHT FOR BECKY” door and instead of just leaving it open for me, He’ll come and lead me by the hand so we can walk through it together.

Personal Application:

Do you have hopes and dreams you worry will never happen?
Are you in a hurry for God to DO something, anything?
Are you racing God for open doors because you are worried He will close them before you can walk through them?

Take some time this week to lay those dreams at His feet and then wait on Him to not only leave a door open for you, but to take you by the hand and walk you through it with Him.

In my case, stripping away my security opened up doors for miracles that happened all weekend long. I had chances to pitch BOTH books, and I knew it was all God’s doing, not my own.

Trust Him to lead you in the pursuit of your precious dreams. He is worthy of that trust.

Love,